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One in three Men Is “Shorter Than The Other Two” - Study Reveals

A new study by the University Of Minnesota has revealed that one in three people is shorter than the other two. In a series of experiments, it was discovered that when three people were asked to stand together, the one on the left was invariably shorter than the other two in the same group. Genetically this syndrome has been traced to a newly-discovered  “Triumvirarsum shortarsum” gene which appears only in one third of males. It has the effect of stunting growth (making smoking unnecessary) and slightly deafening the right ear, leading to a tendency for the subject to stand with the left ear nearest to the others in the grouping.

Our picture shows Mike Batt (left)  talking to random taller colleagues Sir Tim Rice and DJ/songwriter Mike Rad, who recently started a central heating business inspired by a typographical error in the spelling of his name. Sir Tim said “I’m hoping to get a knighthood one day” – as this picture was taken a long time ago. Mike Rad said “Look at my tie, it’s much more sensible than yours, Batty”.