AUNTIE STAN AND UNCLE ANNABELLE
I swear I don't remember writing this - but looking through old papers to assist in writing my autobiography I have just discovered a couple of handwritten pages obviously intended for my story book "ERGO: THE CHRONICLES OF DON'T BE SO RIDICULOUS VALLEY", which is long-since finished (having been started in 1992) and declared ready for publishing. So these two mad pages of stuff turned up this morning, just hand-written on pages torn out of a pad, at the bottom of a box of papers. Ergo (a slug of medium size) has declared himself bored with life and has slopped off into the morning fog. So now I find these pages which I HONESTLY have complete amnesia about, The characters in them, - and their names, and having written them are total news to me, but I definitely wrote them, it's my handwriting. I must have lost the pages or something and they've just shown up:
"Slopping off through the same fog on the very same day was Ergo's Auntie Stan. She had a deep voice and a bristly chin so was often mistaken for his Uncle Annabelle, and indeed they had discussed swapping names to save a lot of aggravation, but somehow had never got around to it. In any case if Auntie Stan had suddenly been called Auntie Annabelle she would still have had a deep voice and bristles so it might have been even more confusing. So she remained good old Auntie Stan and there she was, slopping through the fog. Not wearily, like Ergo, but cheerfully, and humming deeply at the top of the bottom of her voice.
"Hello, Auntie" said Ergo, with all the enthusiasm he could muster, which was hardly any.
"What's the problem?" asked Stan.
"Life" replied Ergo. "Life's the problem, - and I can't fly either."
This last complaint took Auntie Stan by surprise. She could understand Life being a problem, but "not being able to fly" seemed to her to be rather a lame excuse for being miserable.
"Throwing yourself off the Eiffel Tower would solve both problems at once" she quipped, dryly.
"Very funny!" said Ergo, without really meaning it.
Anyway that's it. For the life of me, it doesn't trigger the slightest memory at all. I wonder if I might have had a few vodkas when I wrote it, which wiped my memory. A bit randomly gender-fluid for twenty years ago!
Lots of love