Recipe for today: Hedgehog sandwiches. Find a hedgehog. Kill it by reversing over its head with the car. Or you can go forwards, it’s purely a matter of taste. If you DO go forwards make sure the Hedgehog is in front of, and not behind the car. If it is behind the car you DO have to reverse. Get some mud and put it all over the hedgehog. Wrap the whole thing in foil and put it on the barbie. After an hour the mud will be baked hard. Smash it open with a claw hammer (you can use a pickaxe if it’s a big hedgehog). All the quills will come away with the mud, leaving the soft edible hedgehog meat exposed. At this point check to make sure it is still dead. Put it in the fridge for a couple of hours, then slice with a very sharp knife, or special hedgehog slicers you can get at your local garden centre. Arrange on a piece of bread with a little rocket and parmesan and drizzle some extra virgin olive oil on it. Add the top piece of bread and voila! A hedgehog sandwich second to only a few. Heston Blumenthal, eat your heart out.